Feeling

LONZA

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Feeling "Safe"

Over the years, I began to feel "safe" and, after a while, I became complacent in that safety. In the past couple of years, I have learned a lot of things about myself and my life, some of them good and some of them not so good.

As for the good things, I've found that despite all the years that I have spent as a hermit, literally, I still possess within myself the ability to make friends and, I pray, the ability to keep them as well. Also, I've found that my hope and desire to entertain people with my written words just might become a reality if I strive at it long enough.

As for the bad things, I have found that, overall, no lifestyle should be held onto if your main reason for doing so is because it is SAFE. There isn't always happiness in that safety because of the challenge it may lack. That safety doesn't always hold within it the peace one might seek and need because of the discontentment therein.

Isolation is perhaps one of the hardest things for a person to deal with because of one's inability to share it with someone else; that is what isolation is after all. Isolation that is experienced over a substantial period of time changes you. It wears you down. You get to know yourself too well. You find out that it really is possible for a person to think too much.

When a person shuts out the world around them, when they turn Life off, then everything about them is brought into full focus; it becomes exaggerated. Though the isolated person usually has very little, what they do have they find they have too much of; they become eccentric.

Here's a thought I'd like to share with you:

Someone once told me that life and people had made them "hard". In my opinion, that person was very likely just rationalizing. We might not always have a choice of where we end up or what happens to us along the way, but we DO have a choice as to what kind of person we are when we get there. We might or might not be the pilot of our own destiny, but we most certainly ARE the pilot of our own heart. ... Lonza J. Farkas, Sunday, July 20, 2003.

"'Floating like the heavens above!

Looks like Muskrat Loveeeeeee!'"

Following is a very special message to a very special

group of people at Bradford Health Services,

Cottage 4, Warrior, Alabama, USA.

I'm Lonza and I'm a severe depressive turned alcoholic. ... Though the time I spent with you was unfortunately cut short, my entire life and being, my very soul, has been forever blessed and enriched for my having known each and every one of you. I cannot begin to express just how much being a part of your family, now and forevermore my family as well, means to me. I've just gotten home and, heck, I miss you already! ... Now I find myself thinking, "Such a small band of people, yet there's so much STRENGTH." ... You're probably all in your beds and asleep by now, yet, I sit here awake, pondering, collecting, doing inventory. ... May all of you have an untroubled, restful sleep and may our Higher Power, our lord God as we understand Him, please bestow upon me the privilege and the honor of my voice coming to all of you in your dreams over the long miles that lay between us as I say the Serenity Prayer aloud, not just to myself, for the second time since I met you. ;-)

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Just for today. Amen."

Thank you for letting me share, Cottage 4, and I especially want to thank you for sharing with me. I love you fine people! Take care of yourselves, huh? ... Lonza J. Farkas, Wednesday, March 01, 2006, 03:49AM.

Here's a saying of mine:

"I'm as strong as I have to be, but I am as weak as I NEED to be." ... Lonza J. Farkas, Monday, October 13, 2003.

"Don’t even THINK about it!"

"What the heck are YOU?!"

"Looks like you're going to be here a while, so ..."

If you are new to the internet, the "Newcomers" page might be of help to you.

Favorite Musician & Song:

My absolute favorite musician of all time is the classic pianist from Argentina, RAUL DI BLASIO! His song "Hasta Que Te Conoci" ("Until I Meet You") is, to me, the most beautiful piece of music ever written. I had never really had a favorite musician or song until the day I heard that man play "Hasta Que Te Conoci". Now, thanks to Raul Di Blasio, I have both!

Favorite Movie Of All Time:

"Mr. Smith Goes To Washington" (1939), the black and white movie that was directed by Frank Capra and starred James Stewart in the title role with Jean Arthur co-starring, is truly a classic. (There is also a small part played by the child star, Baby Dumpling, from the hit comedy series "Blondie".) This movie speaks of American ideals and values that have really taken a beating over the decades since the film was made. Still, the movie has survived the test of time because its one main theme, "Love Thy Neighbor", is timeless.

Favorite President Of All Time:

Our 16th president, Abraham Lincoln, was by far our greatest president, but what do you say of such a man that has not already been said before? No words of mine could possibly be worthy of him. ... Serving our country during the years of 1861-1865, our most beloved president met his death on February 14,1865, at Ford's Theatre at the hands of John Wilkes Booth. ... "Jesus wept." (St. John 11.35)